TheThe weird depression

island-03             What’s depression? It’s a black ball of iron, invisible, which is located in our mind. It’s loaded with worries, suffering and/or anger.

At the time of activation, the energy stored in the human body, crosses the body,leaving traces , and if they are not taken on time, can cause significant damage. You feel alone, tired,you have no appetite , you begin to isolate and start to have serios stomach pain.

               You feel that nobody understends what you are feeling, not even the Google ,,friend”  that gives you the whole time tips like „10 ways to get rid of depression”, and out of desperation you try, but they don’t have good results … you can’t try  all but you try a lot of them.You start to get more depressed… because you are depressed … I know it sounds absurd but those who go through this,knows what I mean and  how true is what I say. So what do you do? what do you do to get rid of the  traces caused by that ball rolling?

               At first you take pills,some of them works but not how you want.Like…you know what problems and feelings you have,they are still there but you are more calm and you don’t want to hit your head with the motivational book that gets you more depressed because is not that good(some are good but not those that I read),til you are ,,ok”.So what else you do?The books,you read motivational books,a lot of them ar written

by people who have never been depressed,or have not been severe depressed so ,,look at the sky and see what a beautiful day it is and enjoy it”,does’t work.So?what is next?the therapist…strange but works more that with the pills and the ,,magic”book of motivation,but again…it makes you not wanting to do something stupid,but you are still depressed.You try the ,,art” of mediation.For a lot of people when you have three kids ,that have the caracter of the idiot boyfriend/husband,that does’t want to use a condom because is not ,,fun” for him and you are also stupid because you thinking of him and now you are tired because of the little devils ,so you enjoy the one hour meditation(when they sleep because then you have time)and you are thinking that you are on an island and the kids are 50000 miles away.Where was I..oh the meditation,sorry..when you have non stop pain or big problems,you can imagine that you are on the beach alone,no pain.You are on beach…alone…listen to the sea and the trees…you are relaxed,no?Me like ,,NO,I am on a stupid island,no meds,no people,no phone,my therapist has got eaten by a shark (joke) ,and when I pull the flare gun,for an airplane to see me,I hit the plane!But then I saw a boat..but I am an idiot so I didn’t realise that is a pirate boat,and Johnny Deep is not the capitan,the capitan is an arab guy that told me his name is Rodrigo and is ,,mexican”and works for the energy company and I need to pay my bills.”So I don’t think that meditation works for me…But I still look for something to feel better,and I will not stop till I find the magic bean..joke,till I find something to cure my depression.

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